[Nerdspresso] Drinking Raindrops While Talking to Gorillas on My Congo Vacation

Michael Crichton was THE Man in the mid-90’s. After grinding it out for decades as a science fiction writer and b-movie director, Mike hit it big with the one-two punch of Jurassic Park on the big screen and ER on TV. Those blockbusters made him the writer du jour and his books flew off the shelves as Hollywood rushed to turn them into movies.

Besides Jurassic Park, we saw movies based on Disclosure, Sphere, Timeline, and Rising Sun. In the twilight of the 20th century, this guy had the golden touch. Big Mike even cranked out an original script about bad weather that ruled the box office in the Summer of ’96. But let’s not forget my favorite Michael Crichton movie. Yes, even better than Yul Brynner as an evil robot cowboy in WestWorld or Tom Selleck chasing murderous tech (and Gene Simmons) in Runaway. I’m talking about the talking gorilla/angry hippo epic that is Congo.

Congo is based on a Crichton novel from 1980 that came out in the summer of 1995. You can catch it now on Hulu and Paramount+. Please savor its righteous jungle vibes for yourself. This flick is about a search for priceless giant diamonds in the ruins of the ancient city of Zinj (also known as King Solomon’s Mines) hidden deep in the wilds of Africa. The expedition, led by Laura Linney (in her first big movie role) and Dylan Walsh (in probably his last big movie role), encounters all kinds of dangerous movie cliches along the way.

Linney plays Dr. Karen Ross, who works for a big tech company run by R.B. Travis (Joe Don Baker, playing this guy like a cross between Steve Jobs and a villainous rancher from an old western). They need to find the diamonds to power this super awesome telecom satellite, which will help them dominate the emerging cell phone market. Remember, this was 1995. Karen’s real motivation is to find her fiancee, Travis’s son, who was close to finding the lost city before he disappeared. Shout out here to the legendary Bruce Campbell, who gets an ignominious cameo as Karen’s missing beau.

She hijacks a prearranged trip to the Congo that was organized by Dr. Peter Elliott, a benevolent primatologist (Walsh). He is returning his gorilla ward, whom he has taught to speak using sign language and movie science, to her rightful home. Peter’s errand of mercy is funded by Romanian philanthropist Herkermer Homolka (the great Tim Curry using an accent appropriated from Count Chocula). His motives, however, aren’t altogether altruistic. Homolka is secretly seeking the jeweled treasures of Zinj. He is convinced that Peter’s gorilla friend knows its fabled location based on some paintings she made back at the lab. The plot thickens.

Once in Africa, Karen and Peter meet up with Monroe Kelly, a soldier of fortune who Karen has hired to guide them deep into the Congo. Monroe is played by the awesome Ernie Hudson (Dude, it’s Winston Zeddemore!) who delivers most of this movie’s derring-do. He and his mercenaries protect our intrepid travelers as they face the perils of the jungle. They survive plane crashes, cannibals, and a nighttime river attack by indigenous creatures that’s like a live-action version of Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

Congo is like one of those old jungle adventure movies from the ’50s that you’d watch on your grandma’s black-and-white TV on a rainy afternoon during summer vacation. All the familiar beats are there. You’ve got stalwart heroes chasing after a doomed first mission, native drums, lost cities, and apocalyptic volcanoes. There are very few surprises, but the predictability is enjoyable and comforting. Just like Grandma.  

The biggest difference between this flick and its B-movie predecessors is its glossy look. Congo benefits from an A-List budget for this B-list story. It’s directed by Frank Marshall, who is better known as the producer of the Indiana Jones movies. He also directed Arachnophobia and Alive. You remember that one, right? It’s that feel-good movie about soccer players who went full-on Donner party when their plane crashed in the Andes. Good times.

Marshall’s pedigree means that they were able to make this movie on location. The jungle actually looks like the jungle instead of a soundstage full of plastic vines. It’s a selling point for this flick because you definitely feel transported. I really respect this team’s dedication. If they made this movie today, it would be all green screen and CGI. The authenticity is certainly a plus. While watching, however, you might wonder why they even bothered. Marshall may have produced Spielberg’s movies, but he’s no competition behind the camera.

He did have the good sense to hire Stan Winston, the expert creature creator behind the Terminator, Jurassic Park, The Thing, and Aliens. Stan created entire troops of gorillas (and a herd of hippos) to populate this story. He is a master of his craft. While some of the creature effects don’t age very well, Amy the talking gorilla is quite an achievement. You almost forget there’s an actor inside that suit. Unfortunately, they also make her do precious stuff like chase butterflies and demand martinis. It’s pretty cringy when she uses her VR/AI-enabled wristband to say “Amy. Want. Raindrop. Drink” like a flirty divorcee at happy hour.

Amy’s cheesy gorilla repartee is emblematic of the entire script by John Patrick Shanley. It’s full of cornball lines and stock characters, but I’ll cut the guy some slack. It’s not like jungle movies are his wheelhouse. He’s a playwright that won an Oscar for Moonstruck. What made them think he could adapt an adventure story? Now he did also write and direct the charming Tom Hanks vehicle Joe Versus the Volcano and there IS a volcano in Congo, so he did have that going for him.

Overall, Congo is a pretty run-of-the-mill production but it’s still really satisfying. Like lime Jell-O with Cool Whip on top. Nothing remarkable but it gets the job done. Yes, those familiar story beats feel like a product of a jungle movie algorithm, but just go with it. Enjoy the soothing notes emanating from the awkward chemistry between Laura Linney and Dylan Walsh. Savor the hammy performances from Ernie Hudson and Tim Curry as their contagious enthusiasm for the material increases its Saturday matinee vibes. Congo is like a vacation for your brain. Sit back and enjoy the lost cities, exotic treasures and aggressive hippos.

Have fun!

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